Sunday, January 31, 2010


I got back last night from Chicago and spent the day relaxing today.  I was with my family and it was totally "vanilla".  I had a family member graduating from Navy bootcamp and it was great to see and I am SO proud. 
During my time away, I found myself daydreaming quite a bit about spanking & discipline.  Replaying scenes that I have had with various people in my head and somewhat re-experiencing them, mentally.  It is so nice to have memories of good discipline scenes that I can revisit at will, putting myself back in the moment.  Since I don't live near a spanking community, I'm glad that I am able to daydream at moments that I am longing to be punished.  My behavior wasn't bad or warranting punishment in any way, I just wanted that feeling of someone caring and keeping me accountable and taking the time to punish me.  There's just something about it.


Sunday, January 24, 2010

Busy, busy

I've been pretty busy lately with various things and haven't been able to take the time for my blog as I had been. Work has been keeping me busy with year-end activities, though it is actually year beginning since it is already January. It always seems to take all of January to get everything wrapped up, but it is starting to settle down finally.

Last weekend I was in NY at the Scony party, which was alot of fun. I got to enjoy time with friends and spank & be spanked. Get this....I told ya'll that I got some new implements, right? Well, I purchased them for me to use on other people, not to have them used on me! LOL. But as it turned out, I was spanked with my own implements before I even got to the party, which is SO unfair. But this is the spanking world, so is there ever any "fair" here? (note to newbies: This was consensual and was not against my will)

On the personal front, I'll be traveling again next weekend to the Chicago area for a family event. Then on two separate weekends in February, I am looking forward to welcoming a couple people into my home from out of town. I am excited that after all the traveling that I've done this past year, people are coming out to see me...Should be a blast.  I have fallen behind quite a bit in answering my personal emails- I think some of this is due to all the emails that I have been getting at work lately (between 100-150 a day), and when I come home I just don't want to look at another email.  I hope to soon get into an "email frenzy" and respond to those of you who have contacted me.

Plans are in the works for another video with Clare Fonda. I believe the shoot could possibly take place in just a few months, but none of the details have been worked out yet.  I will of course keep you updated.


Wednesday, January 13, 2010

I will be at the SCONY party this Saturday!

I am looking forward to the SCONY party this Saturday night in NYC!  I'll be there toting my brand "spanking" new implements and ready to discipline those who have been misbehaving.  I'd love to see you all there, and please come up and introduce yourself if you are able to make it.

SCONY Spanking Party at LGBT Center in Greenwich Village
January 16th, 2010
Time: 7:30 - 11:30 pm

LGBT Center, First Floor
208 West 13th Street
Rm 301
New York City

Bring something for the food table.
A modest amount of BYOB is allowed.
This is a good opportunity to come out in an non-threatening atmosphere and a great place to meet the people you interact with online. Small areas are blocked off for privacy.

RSVP by emailing Ms. Margaret if you plan to attend.

(Ladies, there is no pressure to do anything. Introduce yourself to Ms. Margaret, and she'll do what she can to make you feel at home.)

Very important: Please read the SCONY Protocols before attending. It will ensure a good and fun time for all.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Is it sexual?

Of course it is!  To many people who enjoy giving or receiving a spanking, the pleasure often lies in the sexual overtones and/or the eventual act of intercourse.

Spanking is not always sexual though.  In fact for some people, myself included, sex is the furtherest thing from their mind.  I definitely recognize that I fall into the minority among the spanking community. From reading and talking with people, I find that the vast majority are involved in spanking because they enjoy the erotic aspects of spanking. Many of them have asked me to help them understand how it is that I do not view it as sexual. Sometimes I am sucessful in explaining my viewpoint but often I have not been- or maybe the person just didn't want to hear what I was saying.  I will give it a shot in the dark and see if I can help make sense of it here... 

I am into purely discipline spanking.  I like to be held accountable for my behavior, and when I have misbehaved it is comforting to know that I will be "brought to task".  Spanking for me is just one small piece of the puzzle- actually a very small piece.  You see, I hate being spanked.  I get absolutely no thrill or enjoyment out of having my bottom swatted over and over again, as I do not like being in pain.  There was a point that I was really confused about why it is that I consent to be spanked and why I craved it if I in fact hated it so much.  Here is what a good friend shared with me:
It isn't the spanking you crave, it's the discipline out of which the spanking is borne. The spanking is a necessary part of it, because without something you really hated to have to undergo, the discipline/punishment would be ineffective. But it's the fact that someone is disciplining you that pushes the "good" button, even though it involves spanking you. Not really so complicated. 
After reading this person's words, it started making more sense to me.  It is discipline that I crave, not spanking in and of itself.  Spanking is just one of many methods that can be used to administer discipline.  Other consequences can include, but are not limited to:  corner time, scolding, being sent to bed early, essays, writing lines, restriction from privileges, being grounded, extra chores, etc.

My mindset amidst all of this is extremely similar to that of a child when receiving parental discipline.  The child does not want to be punished, but when the parent deals with the unacceptable behavior, in the end he/she feels loved, cared for, and safe within the boundaries that have been upheld. 

Since my mind is viewing the spanker as somewhat of a parental authority figure, sex is completely out of the picture.  I cannot wrap my mind around erotic sexual fulfillment and parental discipline- if I did so it would seem like incest in my mind.  This is not necessarily "age play", but I must admit that sometimes when the spanking is happening I don't always feel my true age.  When I am being dealt with it is very therapeutic and healing for me.

This is not to say that I don't recognize that it could be sexual for me if it was in the right context and situation.  If I was with someone who I was in a romantic relationship with, I would definitely want to experiment with spanking in an erotic sense.  The difference would definitely be that the intensity level would be turned way down and it would be very light, maybe with a little sensual rubbing.  There would be no scolding or other disciplinary acts during this time.

These are my personal thoughts on the subject, and I hope that maybe I have enlightened some to a different take on spanking.  I'd love to hear your feedback on this one.


Friday, January 1, 2010

My new spanking implements!!!

Yes, they have arrived in the mail, and are deserving of a post dedicated especially to them! I can't wait to finally top with my very own implements instead of having to borrow other people's, hehe. But for now, they sit unused in my drawer until I make it out to the SCONY party here in a couple weeks.

I had been looking for leather paddles off and on for several months now, until I happened upon the Leather Thorn Paddles website, and found a couple that I really liked. 

I like this one because it is very feminine looking and cute!  I think it has a "stingy" feel to it.  And yes, I did smack myself with it (just once though).                                                          

It is all about the cute-ness factor for me.  Once again, I think this paddle is cute also, and it is kind of like a cross between a paddle and a strap.  I like the detailing on the paddle portion.  This one has a little bit of a THUD to it.