Spanking is not always sexual though. In fact for some people, myself included, sex is the furtherest thing from their mind. I definitely recognize that I fall into the minority among the spanking community. From reading and talking with people, I find that the vast majority are involved in spanking because they enjoy the erotic aspects of spanking. Many of them have asked me to help them understand how it is that I do not view it as sexual. Sometimes I am sucessful in explaining my viewpoint but often I have not been- or maybe the person just didn't want to hear what I was saying. I will give it a shot in the dark and see if I can help make sense of it here...
I am into purely discipline spanking. I like to be held accountable for my behavior, and when I have misbehaved it is comforting to know that I will be "brought to task". Spanking for me is just one small piece of the puzzle- actually a very small piece. You see, I hate being spanked. I get absolutely no thrill or enjoyment out of having my bottom swatted over and over again, as I do not like being in pain. There was a point that I was really confused about why it is that I consent to be spanked and why I craved it if I in fact hated it so much. Here is what a good friend shared with me:
It isn't the spanking you crave, it's the discipline out of which the spanking is borne. The spanking is a necessary part of it, because without something you really hated to have to undergo, the discipline/punishment would be ineffective. But it's the fact that someone is disciplining you that pushes the "good" button, even though it involves spanking you. Not really so complicated.After reading this person's words, it started making more sense to me. It is discipline that I crave, not spanking in and of itself. Spanking is just one of many methods that can be used to administer discipline. Other consequences can include, but are not limited to: corner time, scolding, being sent to bed early, essays, writing lines, restriction from privileges, being grounded, extra chores, etc.
My mindset amidst all of this is extremely similar to that of a child when receiving parental discipline. The child does not want to be punished, but when the parent deals with the unacceptable behavior, in the end he/she feels loved, cared for, and safe within the boundaries that have been upheld.
Since my mind is viewing the spanker as somewhat of a parental authority figure, sex is completely out of the picture. I cannot wrap my mind around erotic sexual fulfillment and parental discipline- if I did so it would seem like incest in my mind. This is not necessarily "age play", but I must admit that sometimes when the spanking is happening I don't always feel my true age. When I am being dealt with it is very therapeutic and healing for me.
This is not to say that I don't recognize that it could be sexual for me if it was in the right context and situation. If I was with someone who I was in a romantic relationship with, I would definitely want to experiment with spanking in an erotic sense. The difference would definitely be that the intensity level would be turned way down and it would be very light, maybe with a little sensual rubbing. There would be no scolding or other disciplinary acts during this time.
These are my personal thoughts on the subject, and I hope that maybe I have enlightened some to a different take on spanking. I'd love to hear your feedback on this one.