Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Cursing & other unladylike language

Cursing is one of the things that my disciplinarian is working with me about. It wasn't really an issue that I felt needed to be addressed in our relationship, but he decided that it needed to be and added it to my list of rules. I've been getting better and better at this, especially since I resigned from my old job a couple of months back. I found that the somewhat "hostile" work environment was causing me to be really angry and cursing was an outlet that I used to relieve some of the agitation that I was feeling. Now that the agitant is gone, I find that I only curse when stupid stuff happens, such as my stepping on the bottom of my strapless dress and nearly ripping it off myself on the way to the mailbox. My neighbors probably would have enjoyed that one but I didn't care to give them a show.

Last night, I used some words that I didn't really think of as curse words, but my disciplinarian thought otherwise. I used the word "crap" and "pissed off" while talking with him and boy did I catch it for that. He made it clear to me that those were not such things that should be uttered from the mouth of a lady and that I am not to use those words again. As punishment, I had to turn on my webcam for a punishment self-spanking, spend 15 minutes in the corner, and was assigned an essay to write about how unladylike cursing is and to make a list of words to use instead.

I know that soap will be in my future if I curse again, and I absolutely HATE soap. So much so that it is pretty near to being a hard limit for me, but not quite. This evening I have to get busy on my essay because it is due to be turned in before I go to bed.


  1. This is a part of adult discipline I find interesting, and I have a question about it. When you become involved with a disciplinarian, how much of the discipline is based on what you believe is right and wrong, and what they believe? In this case, I can see how you might be okay with saying "pissed off" if no one complained about it, so do you really want to stop saying it, or must you take direction from your disciplinarian? What happens when there is an important conflict between what you think and he/she thinks about some issue of behavior?

  2. I miss my disciplinarian. I too used to have that rule of no cursing with her but in the end I ecided that was one habit I new I was not going to be able to curb and we nixed it. Your disciplinarian is only right if you allow him to tell you whats right and wrong for you. Frankly I aqree with him where your'e concerned. Cursing is offensive to some. Not all. I happen to be in a job where everyone does it and it's just a fact of life. Good for you Ms. P. Stop it altogether if you can. You're too pretty to curse. I have never heard you say anything like that and I'm really a little surprised about it. My disciplinarian wouldn't allow me to curse either.

  3. @ Brett

    For the relationship that I have with my disciplinarian, the majority of the rules/discipline is based upon the issues that I have brought to him wanting his help with. Then I would say approximately 10% give or take, is things that he has seen and determined to be inappropriate (i.e. the cursing and unlady like language).

    I actually like the fact that he will take the liberty to tell me when a behavior is unacceptable. It conjures up the feeling of the parent/child dynamic that I crave so much. But if there is ever anything he wants to address with me and I were to not agree with it, he will always listen to what I have to say and be fair. If it was something that I absolutely did not want to change then he would leave it alone. But so far we haven't ran into that situation.

  4. @ Unruly

    I used to be much worse at cursing, using the F-bomb and other such words. So it has been him working with me that has helped me be much better at it.

    "Crap" was actually a substitution that I was using for "S###", and so now I know it is no longer going to be allowed. And I agree that I shouldn't be talking like that anyway.

  5. That sounds like an excellent compromise, Alicia. In the parent/child dynamic, you want the parent to be involved in teaching and guidance. It should be more than just self-discipline, where you get someone to simply help you maintain your own rules and regulations. On the other hand, you can't be a slave to someone else's opinions. You have more of an intimate relationship when your disciplinarian cares enough to recognize and address issues you yourself are not seeing, while at the same time, respects your values, and puts your ultimate needs and happiness as priorities.