Friday, September 10, 2010
"Church Discipline" video released on my website!
The idea for "Church Discipline" actually came from my own fantasy stemming from a real-life experience with the Pastor's wife at the church I was attending at the time. I was 19 years old and had this super big mommy craving at the time. I didn't get everything that I believed I should get from my own mom so as far back as middle school I began seeking out teachers and other female authority figures to provide me with affection, affirmation, attention, and discipline.
So in comes this particular Pastor's wife, who recognized that I needed a momma and endeavored to provide me with some of the things that I missed out on and longed for. I would do things to get her attention and usually it was negative attention that I acquired but that was just alright with me. She scolded me on many, many occasions and that alone really gets into the discipline headspace that I have. Usually after I'd been scolded I would come home and write as many details down about it as I remembered and then I'd read it over and over again. She had 6 children of her own, five of which were daughters, and I fell right in between the ages of her two oldest children. She often told me she loved me and that I was special, and gave me lots of hugs. All things I desired from a mother-figure.
Please visit www.AliciaPanettiere.com to purchase the video clips for this film that is 15 minutes in its entirety.