Friday, September 10, 2010

"Church Discipline" video released on my website!

I did a trade shoot with Sarah Gregory while we were both at the Crimson Moon party at the end of July, and this is one of the videos we made together.

The idea for "Church Discipline" actually came from my own fantasy stemming from a real-life experience with the Pastor's wife at the church I was attending at the time.  I was 19 years old and had this super big mommy craving at the time.  I didn't get everything that I believed I should get from my own mom so as far back as middle school I began seeking out teachers and other female authority figures to provide me with affection, affirmation, attention, and discipline.

So in comes this particular Pastor's wife, who recognized that I needed a momma and endeavored to provide me with some of the things that I missed out on and longed for.  I would do things to get her attention and usually it was negative attention that I acquired but that was just alright with me.  She scolded me on many, many occasions and that alone really gets into the discipline headspace that I have.  Usually after I'd been scolded I would come home and write as many details down about it as I remembered and then I'd read it over and over again.  She had 6 children of her own, five of which were daughters, and I fell right in between the ages of her two oldest children.  She often told me she loved me and that I was special, and gave me lots of hugs.  All things I desired from a mother-figure.

On one certain occasion, after a church service, I was upset with her about something and used curse words as I was talking to her right in the church lobby.  Right then and there she got "The Look" in her eyes and very sternly told me, "You need to be spanked!"  Let me tell you, that certainly stopped me dead in my tracks.  I was a little scared that she'd actually do it but at the same time really hoping that she would take me inside her office and put me over her knee.  Of course this never happened but I've fantasized about it more times than I can count.  After this incident there were several times it would come up in conversation where she would tell me I needed to be spanked or given a couple swats.  I also wished that her and the Pastor would invite me to live with them for a time and treat me just as one of their own daughters.  I touched on this in Sarah and I's video.

Sarah Gregory and I reenacted my fantasy in a reversed sort of fashion, meaning I played the role of the Pastor's wife and Sarah played "Me".  I thoroughly enjoyed filming this with her and felt that much of my fantasy was able to be portrayed.  Towards the end of the film Sarah cried real tears and I was able to hold her and comfort her while she cried.  Very good and I love it when real emotion and tears are captured on video.

The video starts out with a good scolding because I caught her at the church dance conducting herself very inappropriately and dancing in a provocative manner.  I tell her she needs to be spanked and has needed it for a long time, so I lead her over my knee to deliver a very thorough hand spanking over her skirt, then panties, and bare-bottomed.  Finally she gets a good spanking with the very same hairbrush that I use to spank my daughters with.  She is told that she will be disciplined just like one of my daughters from here on out anytime that she is disrespectful or misbehaves.  I also tell her that I'll be taking her clothes shopping to get something more appropriate for her to wear, and if she wants to she can come stay with me for awhile.  This seems to touch a tender place in her and she begins to cry - this is what she's craved for a very long time.

Please visit www.AliciaPanettiere.com to purchase the video clips for this film that is 15 minutes in its entirety.

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